I cannot sleep. That one subject I failed still haunts me everyday. I cannot even log in to systemone because I dont want to see my grade in another subject. I am so disappointed with myself. This is the first time in my 19 years of existence that I lost confidence with myself.
But the most disappointing thing ever is how my heart reacted to this. Why do I feel this? God is always asking me, am I never enough for you? Almost a month has passed since I asked God, why did you let this happen?
This is a struggle. The enemy whispers the what ifs and the could haves. It is sad that I listen to them instead of listening to what the Father says to me, my Father who has proven to me for so many times how faithful and true He is.
I declare today that I would trust God with everything. If this did not happen, maybe I’m still a hypocrite who lies to herself that I have lifted everything to God.
Lord God, I trust You will all my heart. I really do not see Your reason for this. But I know that You can see the bigger picture. I declare that for the last two sems of my college lives, you would fulfill your promises to me. I lift to you all the burdens and heartaches that would not let me get to sleep. I declare that your love is truly enough. In Jesus’s Name. Amen